Tuesday Night Dance Off
My family is weird. This crazy little tribe of mine that I created has one of the most unique ways of bonding. We dance.
Let me clarify, we don’t dance well by any means, but we do give it all we have. We dance with each other, by ourselves, on tables, on the couches, music up, singing out loud, and for an hour straight it is completely on! We do this every Tuesday night and it is a huge success.
I started Tuesday night dance offs for the simple reason that after my husband left a hush of depression fell over our home. The kids and I were solemn. Wasting time with electronics and any other distractions, anything to not notice the absence of their father and my husband. When he left there was a huge gap in the air. You could feel the loss in my children’s behavior. They smiled a little less, argued more, and had shorter patience. Emotional outbursts, behavioral problems, and all the other roller coaster range of emotions that I expected with this transition. We were stuck in a rut and I was desperate to find anything to pull us out of this funk. Then one day while cleaning I turned on the radio and just went with it, soon all my kids joined in and it felt like happiness was a possibility again for us. We could be happy without him. We allowed ourselves to act silly and ridiculous and not feel guilty that daddy wasn’t there to join in or be a part of it.
I decided every Tuesday night was going to be our dance off night. My kids have invented new dance moves and I have taught them a few moves to go along. My daughter and I have choreographed songs together and my son and I have slow danced. These are the moments I will look back on and remember that we may not have been perfect but we made it. We mourned our loss together and separately, but we came back together as a family. Maybe not the family we had planned on or the family my kids have been used to, but we are a happy family. And what more can a single mother ask for. Isn’t that our ultimate goal, happy kids. So Tuesday night dance off stays, some weeks we might miss it because of schedules but I am not above blaring the music on other days and telling the kids it’s time to dance our funk out.
As a single mom I strongly encourage you to find something that bonds your kids to you as a new family. Something that helps them to feel comfortable with life to keep on being lived even when being a man down. Kids need to know it’s OK to have fun even if it’s a sad time and the other parent isn’t there to participate. They need to make memories with you and to be reminded of their smile. You can put that spark back into their eyes, it’s worth it. Be silly, step out of yourself and just be playful. You might even enjoy it as much as your kids do.